Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions


Author: Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501169009
Category: Humor
Page: 208
View: 9018

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Forgive him, Father, for Stephen Colbert has sinned. He knew it was wrong at the time. But he went ahead and did it anyway. Now he’s begging for forgiveness. Based on his popular segment from The Late Show, Stephen Colbert and his team of writers now reveal his most shameful secrets to millions (although, actually, he’d like you not to tell anyone). Midnight Confessions is an illustrated collection of Stephen Colbert at his most brilliant and irreverent.

I Am A Pole (And So Can You!)


Author: Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455523402
Category: Humor
Page: 32
View: 1515

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"The sad thing is, I like it" - Maurice Sendak "The perfect gift to give a child or grandchild for their high school or college graduation. Also Father's Day. Also, other times." - Stephen Colbert

America Again

Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't
Author: Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446583987
Category: Humor
Page: 240
View: 2132

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Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness. But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?! It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost! Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book-it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.

Whose Boat Is This Boat?

Comments That Don't Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane
Author: The Staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 198212119X
Category: Humor
Page: 24
View: 6604

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100% of The Late Show’s proceeds from this book go to hurricane relief. Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don’t Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane is a picture book made entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. It is the first children’s book that demonstrates what not to say after a natural disaster. On September 19, 2018, Donald Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. “At least you got a nice boat out of the deal,” said President Trump to hurricane victims. “Have a good time!” he told them. The only way his comments would be appropriate is in the context of a children’s book—and now you can experience them that way, thanks to the staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Whose Boat Is This Boat? is an excellent teaching tool for readers of all ages who enjoy learning about empathy by process of elimination. Have a good time!

Stephen Colbert and Philosophy

I Am Philosophy (And So Can You!)
Author: Aaron Allen Schiller
Publisher: Open Court
ISBN: 0812696905
Category: Philosophy
Page: 288
View: 6270

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At the head of The Colbert Report, one of the most popular shows on television, Stephen Colbert is a pop culture phenomenon. More than one million people backed his fake candidacy in the 2008 U.S. presidential election on Facebook, a testament to the particularly rich set of issues and emotions Colbert brings to mind. Stephen Colbert and Philosophy is crammed with thoughtful and amusing chapters, each written by a philosopher and all focused on Colbert's inimitable reality — from his word creations (truthiness, wikiality, freem, and others) to his position as a faux-pundit who openly mocks Fox News and CNN. Although most of the discussion is centered around The Colbert Report, this collection does not neglect either his best-selling book, I Am America (And So Can You!), or his public performances, including his incendiary 2006 White House Press Correspondents' Dinner speech.

I Am America (and So Can You!)


Author: Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0753516896
Category: Humor
Page: 288
View: 589

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Stephen Colbert was The Daily Show's longest-running and most memorable correspondent. His right-wing, super-patriotic persona, his insight and general rightness led to The Colbert Report, a half-hour TV platform for his views on the issues of the day and, more importantly, why everyone else's views are just plain wrong. I Am America (And So Can You!) features Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on everything from The Family to Race and Immigration and provides the ultimate satirical guide to the glorious marvel that is American Life. He bravely takes on the forces aligned to destroy America - whether they be terrorists, environmentalists, or brand-name breakfast cereals - and tackles difficult issues like religion, sexuality, and nature ('I've never trusted the sea. What's it hiding under there?') With hilarious illustrations and charts ('Things That Are Trying to Turn Me Gay', 'Sports to Ignore' and many more) and a complete transcript of Colbert's infamous speech at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, this is a brilliantly funny book as well as a very clever commentary on America today.

Stephen Colbert's Tek Jansen


Author: John Jaymen,Tom Peyer,Jim Massey
Publisher: Oni Press
ISBN: 9781934964163
Category: Comics & Graphic Novels
Page: 136
View: 1253

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Bursting out from the hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report—it’s STEPHEN COLBERT'S TEK JANSEN! In this stunning continuation of Stephen Colbert’s critically acclaimed, yet unpublished prose novel, everyone’s favorite sci-fi hero must stand against the enemies of freedom no matter what dark planet they crawl from! This deluxe hardcover collects all ten Tek Jansen comic stories, including the Harvey Award-nominated "Invasion of the Optiklons" and "Horn Like Me"!

Stephen Colbert: Beyond Truthiness


Author: Bruce Watson
Publisher: New Word City
ISBN: 1612307574
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 136
View: 6778

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Stephen Colbert is far more than a comedian and improv genius. As head of his fanciful Colbert Nation, the quick-witted host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report has delighted fans with his wit, audacity, and innovative uses of language and the media. In this biography, award-winning journalist Bruce Watson, author of Jon Stewart: Beyond the Moments of Zen, charts Colbert's rise from boyhood tragedy to "greatest living cultural/media critic."

If It Fits, I Sits


Author: Various
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501134221
Category: Humor
Page: 144
View: 3206

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We’ll probably never know why our furry friends insist upon squeezing themselves into weird and awkward places, but that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate the ensuing cuteness! With over one hundred photos of cats caught in the act, If It Fits, I Sits captures the quirky, adorable, and no-nonsense spirit of felines everywhere.

Girl Waits with Gun


Author: Amy Stewart
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0544409612
Category: Fiction
Page: 288
View: 2683

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A National Bestseller A New York Times Editors' Choice A September 2015 Indie Next Pick A Publishers Marketplace Buzz Book of 2015, Fall/Winter One of USA Today's "New and Noteworthy" One of New York Post's "Must-Read" Books One of Cosmopolitan's "24 Books to Read this Fall" From the New York Times best-selling author of The Drunken Botanist comes an enthralling novel based on the forgotten true story of one of the nation’s first female deputy sheriffs. Constance Kopp doesn’t quite fit the mold. She towers over most men, has no interest in marriage or domestic affairs, and has been isolated from the world since a family secret sent her and her sisters into hiding fifteen years ago. One day a belligerent and powerful silk factory owner runs down their buggy, and a dispute over damages turns into a war of bricks, bullets, and threats as he unleashes his gang on their family farm. When the sheriff enlists her help in convicting the men, Constance is forced to confront her past and defend her family — and she does it in a way that few women of 1914 would have dared. “A smart, romping adventure, featuring some of the most memorable and powerful female characters I've seen in print for a long time. I loved every page as I followed the Kopp sisters through a too-good-to-be-true (but mostly true!) tale of violence, courage, stubbornness, and resourcefulness.” — Elizabeth Gilbert Check out the brand-new Kopp sisters adventure Lady Copy Makes Trouble available now!

You Can't Spell America Without Me

The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year as President Donald J. Trump (A So-Called Parody)
Author: Alec Baldwin,Kurt Andersen
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 052552200X
Category: Humor
Page: 256
View: 6487

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Political satire as deeper truth: Donald Trump’s presidential memoir, as recorded by two world-renowned Trump scholars, and experts on greatness generally "I have the best words, beautiful words, as everybody has been talking and talking about for a long time. Also? The best sentences and, what do you call them, paragraphs. My previous books were great and sold extremely, unbelievably well--even the ones by dishonest, disgusting so-called journalists. But those writers didn't understand Trump, because quite frankly they were major losers. People say if you want it done right you have to do it yourself, even when 'it' is a 'memoir.' So every word of this book was written by me, using a special advanced word processing system during the many, many nights I've been forced to stay alone in the White House--only me, just me, trust me, nobody helped. And it's all 100% true, so true--people are already saying it may be the truest book ever published. Enjoy." Until Donald Trump publishes the ultimate account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President. Trump was elected because he was the most frank presidential candidate in history, a man eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and tout his own amazing excellence. Now he levels his refreshingly compulsive, un-PC candor at his landslide election victory as well as his role as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world. There are intimate, powerful, mind-boggling revelations on every page. You are there with him during his private encounters with world leaders, a few of whom he does not insult. You are there at the genius Oval Office strategy sessions with his advisers. You are there in his White House bedroom as he crafts the pre-dawn Twitter pronouncements that rock the world. And, of course, you are there on the golf course as Trump attempts to manage the burdens of his office. President Trump explains each of the historic decisions that have already made America great again, and how he always triumphs over the fake news media. You'll learn what he really thinks of his cabinet members and top aides not related to him, of the First Lady and the First Daughter and the additional three or four Trump children. Included at no extra charge is a lavish and exclusive portfolio of spectacular, historic and intimate color photographs of President Trump in private – inside the White House, inside Mar-a-Lago, at Trump Tower, and more. You Can’t Spell America Without Me is presented by America’s foremost Trump scholar Kurt Andersen as well as America's foremost mediocre Trump impersonator, Alec Baldwin. You Can't Spell America Without Me is the perfect holiday gift!

Bears & Balls: The Colbert Report A-Z (An Unofficial Fan Guide)


Author: Sharilyn Johnson,Remy Maisel
Publisher: Third Beat Productions
ISBN: 0993942202
Category: Performing Arts
Page: 230
View: 6963

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The essential fan guide for truly dedicated members of the Colbert Nation! Contains over 200 highly-detailed encyclopedia-style entries, celebrating nine years of the Colbert Report’s greatest moments, obscure favorites, and behind the scenes insights including: Complete Colbert Super PAC play-by-play What really happens at a Colbert Report taping How Stephen Colbert prepares his guests to face off against his character Detailed timeline of the Daft Punk “Colbchella” fiasco Where uncensored versions of the show were broadcast How Colbert and his writers create The Word Is Jay the Intern really an intern? What ever happened to Stephen Jr.? Who the heck is “Jimmy”? Jon Stewart: great bromance, or greatest? From the technical to the tangential, Bears & Balls: the Colbert Report A-Z covers it all, and digs deep to answer questions you didn’t even know you had.

Thank You Notes


Author: Jimmy Fallon,the Writers of Late Night
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0892967374
Category: Humor
Page: 176
View: 2923

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Jimmy Fallon is very thankful. And in this first book to come from his TV show, he expresses his gratitude for everything from the light bulb he's too lazy to replace to the F12 button on his computer's keyboard. He thanks microbreweries for making his alcoholism seem like a neat hobby. He thanks the name "Lloyd" for having two L's. Otherwise it would just sound like "Loyd." He thanks the slow-moving family walking in front of him on the sidewalk. Without this "barricade of idiots," he might never have been forced to walk in the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to get around them. He's thankful to you, the person reading this right now. It means you're considering buying this book. You should do it. You will be thankful that you did.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Presents a Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo


Author: Jill Twiss,Marlon Bundo
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452176361
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 40
View: 2163

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HBO's Emmy-winning Last Week Tonight with John Oliver presents a picture book about a Very Special boy bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny. Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives with his Grampa, Mike Pence - the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever... With its message of tolerance and advocacy, this charming children's book explores issues of same sex marriage and democracy. Sweet, funny, and beautifully illustrated, this book is dedicated to every bunny who has ever felt different. 100% of Last Week Tonight's proceeds will be donated to The Trevor Project and AIDS United.

Wigfield

The Can-Do Town That Just May Not
Author: Amy Sedaris,Paul Dinello,Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Hyperion
ISBN: 9780786886968
Category: Fiction
Page: 224
View: 6937

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A hilarious lampoon of a town gone wrong profiles Wigfield, in danger when the government tears down the dam re-opening the salmon run but demolishes Wigfield in the process, until smug, self-important journalist Russell Hokes appears hoping to save the day. Reprint. 50,000 fist printing.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents Earth (The Book)

A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race
Author: Jon Stewart
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 9780446579223
Category: Humor
Page: 256
View: 4105

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The eagerly awaited new book from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart--the man behind the megaseller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science and culture -- all in a tome of approximately 256 pages with lots of color photos, graphs and charts. After two weeks of hard work, they had their book. EARTH (The Book) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team will posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy. Also available as an ebook and as an audiobook.

The Book of Leon

Philosophy of a Fool
Author: Leon Black,JB Smoove,Iris Bahr
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 150118072X
Category: Humor
Page: 272
View: 633

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Everyone’s favorite houseguest who never left, Leon Black (played by award-winning comedian JB Smoove on HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm) drops his wisdom and good-bad advice for the masses. Learn the secrets Larry David has gleaned from the Falstaff of television. Live your best Leon. Bring the Ruckus. Aristotle. Gandhi. Lao Tzu. Dr. Ruth. Amateurs. For centuries bespeckled dorks have pored over the scrolls of the ancients, read tea leaves, and looked to the stars for philosophy, wisdom, and advice. While some people have probably offered good advice, and others offer bad advice, Leon is here to offer his brand of good-bad advice. These are the musings of a master genius spitting out the secrets of the universe—to help you become just like him. Be forewarned: in opening this tome and Leon’s mind, you need to be prepared for straight talk. The kind of unfiltered blunt straight talk that pounds on your door, invites itself in, makes itself at home, helps itself to your food, security pass code, your expensive organic beet juice, and finally makes itself comfortable on that twin bed in your guest room. All the while you think you’re helping it—but really it’s helping you help yourself! Because that’s how this book doozit. Leon Black, he ain’t wrong...he just ain’t right.

Theft by Finding

Diaries (1977-2002)
Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 031630851X
Category: Humor
Page: 528
View: 9255

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One of the most anticipated books of 2017: Boston Globe, New York Times Book Review, New York's "Vulture", The Week, Bustle, BookRiot An NPR Best Book of 2017An AV Club Favorite Book of 2017A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2017A Goodreads Choice Awards nominee David Sedaris tells all in a book that is, literally, a lifetime in the making. For forty years, David Sedaris has kept a diary in which he records everything that captures his attention-overheard comments, salacious gossip, soap opera plot twists, secrets confided by total strangers. These observations are the source code for his finest work, and through them he has honed his cunning, surprising sentences. Now, Sedaris shares his private writings with the world. Theft by Finding, the first of two volumes, is the story of how a drug-abusing dropout with a weakness for the International House of Pancakes and a chronic inability to hold down a real job became one of the funniest people on the planet. Written with a sharp eye and ear for the bizarre, the beautiful, and the uncomfortable, and with a generosity of spirit that even a misanthropic sense of humor can't fully disguise, Theft By Finding proves that Sedaris is one of our great modern observers. It's a potent reminder that when you're as perceptive and curious as Sedaris, there's no such thing as a boring day.

The Murder of Marilyn Monroe

Case Closed
Author: Jay Margolis,Richard Buskin
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
ISBN: 1510702350
Category: History
Page: 388
View: 3193

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A New York Times Best Seller! Since Marilyn Monroe died among suspicious circumstances on the night of August 4, 1962, there have been queries and theories, allegations and investigations, but no definitive evidence about precisely what happened and who was involved . . . until now. In The Murder of Marilyn Monroe: Case Closed, renowned MM expert Jay Margolis and New York Times bestselling author Richard Buskin finally lay to rest more than fifty years of wild speculation and misguided assertions by actually naming, for the first time, the screen goddess’s killer while utilizing the testimony of eye-witnesses to exactly what took place inside her house on Fifth Helena Drive in Los Angeles’ Brentwood neighborhood. Implicating Bobby Kennedy in the commission of Marilyn’s murder, this is the first book to name the LAPD officers who accompanied the US Attorney General to her home, provide details about how the Kennedys used bribes to silence one of the ambulance drivers, and specify how the subsequent cover-up was aided by a noted pathologist’s outrageous lies. This blockbuster volume blows the lid off the world’s most notorious and talked-about celebrity death, and in the process exposes not only the truth about an iconic star’s tragic final hours, but also how a legendary American politician used powerful resources to protect what many still perceive as his untarnished reputation. Skyhorse Publishing, as well as our Arcade imprint, are proud to publish a broad range of books for readers interested in history--books about World War II, the Third Reich, Hitler and his henchmen, the JFK assassination, conspiracies, the American Civil War, the American Revolution, gladiators, Vikings, ancient Rome, medieval times, the old West, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.

Girl Online

The First Novel by Zoella
Author: Zoe Sugg
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476797463
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 352
View: 1660

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From award-winning YouTube sensation Zoe Sugg, popularly known as Zoella, comes her New York Times bestselling debut young adult novel, which perfectly captures what it means to grow up and fall in love in today’s digital world. I have this dream that, secretly, all teenage girls feel exactly like me. And maybe one day, when we realize that we all feel the same, we can all stop pretending we’re something we’re not… But until that day, I’m going to keep it real on this blog and keep it unreal in real life. Penny has a secret. Under the alias GirlOnline, Penny blogs her hidden feelings about friendship, boys, high school drama, her crazy family, and the panic attacks that have begun to take over her life. When things go from bad to worse at school, her parents accept an opportunity to whisk the family away for Christmas at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. There, Penny meets Noah, a gorgeous, guitar-strumming American. Suddenly she is falling in love—and capturing every moment she spends with "Brooklyn Boy" on her blog. But Noah has a secret, too, one that threatens to ruin Penny’s cover—and her closest friendship—forever.