Me Life Story

The funniest book of the year!
Author: Scarlett Moffatt
Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Ltd.
ISBN: 1911600508
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 336
View: 8032

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*The Sunday Times bestseller* Fact: Did you know, over its lifespan, your sofa will witness roughly 293 arguments and 1,369 cuddles? Hiya, my name's Scarlett Moffatt and I love random facts. Almost as much as I love sitting on me sofa. You might know me best from my most famous and celebrated sit thus far on the I'm A Celebrity throne. You might also know me from all sorts of other seats, most especially my Gogglebox sofa. Well this book is my attempt at telling me life story through a whole series of them! So I'd like you right now to stop what you're doing and take a seat, whether it be in the comfort of your own home, on the top deck of the bus, on the tube (so you don't have to make eye contact with anybody) or on the throne of the house (a.k.a. the toilet). I want you to get comfortable and get ready to laugh, cry and maybe even learn a bit, as I chat to you about some of the highs and lows of me life. So grab a brew, settle down, and let's start from the very beginning...

Me Life Story

Sofa, So Good!
Author: Scarlett Moffatt
Publisher: N.A
ISBN: 9781788700245
Category: Gogglebox (Television program)
Page: 336
View: 5277

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"Fact: Did you know, over its lifespan, your sofa will witness roughly 293 arguments and 1,369 cuddles? Hiya, my name's Scarlett Moffatt and I love random facts. Almost as much as I love sitting on me sofa. You might know me best from my most famous and celebrated sit thus far on the I'm A Celebrity throne. You might also know me from all sorts of other seats, most especially my Gogglebox sofa. Well this book is my attempt at telling me life story through a whole series of them! So I'd like you right now to stop what you're doing and take a seat, whether it be in the comfort of your own home, on the top deck of the bus, on the tube (so you don't have to make eye contact with anybody) or on the throne of the house (a.k.a. the toilet). I want you to get comfortable and get ready to laugh, cry and maybe even learn a bit, as I chat to you about some of the highs and lows of me life. So grab a brew, settle down, and let's start from the very beginning."--

It's Kind of a Funny Story


Author: Ned Vizzini
Publisher: Disney Electronic Content
ISBN: 1423141083
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 448
View: 6845

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Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

Lamb

The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061798231
Category: Fiction
Page: 464
View: 7337

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The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer). Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

Then We Came to the End

A Novel
Author: Joshua Ferris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780759572287
Category: Fiction
Page: 400
View: 7325

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No one knows us quite the same way as the men and women who sit beside us in department meetings and crowd the office refrigerator with their labeled yogurts. Every office is a family of sorts, and the ad agency Joshua Ferris brilliantly depicts in his debut novel is family at its strangest and best, coping with a business downturn in the time-honored way: through gossip, pranks, and increasingly frequent coffee breaks. With a demon's eye for the details that make life worth noticing, Joshua Ferris tells a true and funny story about survival in life's strangest environment--the one we pretend is normal five days a week.

Spoiled Brats

Stories
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316368636
Category: Fiction
Page: 224
View: 8496

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Twenty years ago, Barney the Dinosaur told the nation's children they were special. We're still paying the price. From "one of the funniest writers in America"* comes a collection of stories culled from the front lines of the millennial culture wars. Rife with failing rock bands, student loans, and participation trophies, Spoiled Brats is about a generation of narcissists-and the well-meaning boomers who made them that way. A hardworking immigrant is preserved for a century in pickle brine. A helicopter mom strives to educate her demon son. And a family of hamsters struggles to survive in a private-school homeroom. Surreal, shrewd, and surprisingly warm, these stories are as resonant as they are hilarious. *Jimmy So, Daily Beast

Brand New Me

More honest, heart-warming and hilarious antics from reality TV’s biggest star
Author: Charlotte Crosby
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 1472243307
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 288
View: 1463

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For fans of ME ME ME, this is the next chapter in Charlotte Crosby's life - Celebrity Big Brother winner, MTV presenter, fitness DVD and book bestseller and one of the UK's best loved and funniest reality stars. In the two years since ME ME ME, national sweetheart Charlotte Crosby could not have been busier. Her jam-packed TV schedule has included appearances on some of the nation's favourite shows such as Celebrity Juice and This Morning, she is the presenter of MTV's new hit show Just Tattoo of Us and is now the face of her very own make-up range, Flique. Here in BRAND NEW ME Charlotte talks us through an incredibly busy year, making us laugh as ever with her funny moments (like when her mum woke up on Christmas morning to find her passed out naked by her new swimming pool) but also opening up about the difficult months surrounding her shock departure from Geordie Shore, betrayal and her heartbreaking ectopic pregnancy. After working through her loss by bravely speaking out, she is now an ambassador of the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust, helping raise awareness of the symptoms so other women can get early treatment and help if they find themselves going through a similar experience. So welcome to BRAND NEW ME, the next chapter in Charlotte's life: businesswoman, TV presenter, charity spokesperson, stronger than ever, inspiring us with her work ethic, smashing it with her style and still making us wet our pants laughing.

Pear Shaped

The Funniest Book So Far This Year about Brain Cancer
Author: Adam Blain
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781511860611
Category: Brain
Page: 140
View: 4241

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The true story of Adam Blain, a 44-year-old London lawyer and family man who one day, ends up in A&E after a series of headaches and consistent nausea. Expecting to be sent home with a packet of Paracetamol, he's shocked when harassed doctors are suddenly offering to buy him gourmet coffee. Worse still, the diagnosis of a late-stage brain tumour is made by his oncologist wife. So far, so not funny. Adam, however, is determined not to slide into defeatist misery, and approaches the saga of surgery and chemotherapy with a chirpy, irreverent black humour. What else can he do when every outing risks bits of his brain dripping out of his nose without warning? Wondering constantly what the pear-shaped part of his brain that's been removed is thinking, and whether it's having a better time than he is, Adam takes us through the myriad but necessary indignities inflicted on the brain cancer sufferer. A test, for example, on whether he can he determine whether pictures of faces are smiling? Something his wife is more than happy to help him revise for... The 'revision' involves me sitting in a pub or restaurant with Lu who makes a variety of different facial expressions at me covering the full range of human emotions. It is just like being back at kindergarten... Lu hides behind the menu whilst deciding upon and practising the next expression. She then sticks her head over the top of the menu and I give it my best shot. It would be more dignified for me if she didn't shout "Peekaboo!" each time. Or regular appointments with a psychiatrist to determine whether he's a suicide risk? "I appreciate your lateral thinking to my problem. However, isn't suicide completely contrary to the point? I am scared of death and dying, I'm also undergoing horrendous treatments to (hopefully) delay my death. So why would I kill myself? What would be the point? That's been taken care of for me." The psychologist scribbled some stuff down and ticked a box. The box must have been: "No suicide risk", or "Suicide risk but in denial" or most likely... "Smart Arse". Even the bald patch left after the surgery, which resembles A pale pair of boxer shorts shaved into my head. Adam keeps himself going by looking for joy in everything - the radiation mask that resembles an S&M prop, or counting the amount of times he's greeted by a cotton bud being swabbed up his nose and then along the crease of a groin by a nurse to check for MRSA... While his wife encourages him to spend time with fellow cancer sufferers, with their spouses; diarrhea, constipation and catheters making for interesting dinner party conversation... "Let me introduce you to my good friend, Mike. Funny story how we met. Anyway, we get on so well because we are both dying of exactly the same disease. Ain't that right, Micky?" ... his old friends take him out on lads' weekends, their desire to show their mate a good time inhibited by middle-age, children and having, essentially, to babysit a grown man. Pear Shaped is a heartfelt, funny exploration of one man's real-life experiences as he undergoes treatment and simultaneously tries to seize the life he has left, all with the knowledge that a pear-shaped part of his brain is out there somewhere, fending for survival the same way he is.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian


Author: Sherman Alexie
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 0316219304
Category: Young Adult Fiction
Page: 272
View: 7330

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Bestselling author Sherman Alexie tells the story of Junior, a budding cartoonist growing up on the Spokane Indian Reservation. Determined to take his future into his own hands, Junior leaves his troubled school on the rez to attend an all-white farm town high school where the only other Indian is the school mascot. Heartbreaking, funny, and beautifully written, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, which is based on the author's own experiences, coupled with poignant drawings by Ellen Forney that reflect the character's art, chronicles the contemporary adolescence of one Native American boy as he attempts to break away from the life he was destined to live. With a forward by Markus Zusak, interviews with Sherman Alexie and Ellen Forney, and four-color interior art throughout, this edition is perfect for fans and collectors alike.

The Life of Rylan


Author: Rylan Clark-Neal
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473537266
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 336
View: 2211

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Well hark at you, stumbling upon my autobiography. Bet you wouldn't have put money on that three years ago, eh?! Please don't stress yourself out too much, though, it's actually socially acceptable nowadays that you're interested. Firstly I'd like to emphasise that I have WRITTEN THIS BOOK MYSELF, so be assured you're getting the TOOTH, the WHOLE TOOTH and NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH! (Which was my original choice of title, but babe, we're so over that.) This book documents my story, year by year, from my humble beginnings growing up in the East End of London, becoming one of the nation's most talked-about people overnight to finally moving up the spectrum from guilty pleasure, and getting nearer to national treasure. It will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly you'll discover who I really am. If it doesn't do any of those things you're not legally entitled to a refund - just clearing that up ;-). I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I have enjoyed writing it. This book has been like therapy, and LORD was I in need. Enjoy!

You Bantering Me?

The Life Story of Love Island's Biggest Star
Author: CHRIS. HUGHES
Publisher: Coronet
ISBN: 9781473679658
Category:
Page: 224
View: 2293

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Chris has gained a loyal following due to his combination of boyband worthy good looks, hilarious way with words, heart-warming moments of emotional vulnerability, his lovable bromance with fellow star Kem Cetinay (many called for the best friends to be crowned the winners rather than with their respective girlfriends) and his intense bond with pretend baby son Cash Hughes. This is his story of growing up on a farm in the country, of suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, of winning the hearts of the nation and finding love not just with a new girlfriend but a soul mate of a best friend. Chris's story will be combined with his unique take on the world. Scarlett Moffatt's Scarlett Says meets chart topping Charlotte Crosby meets lovable heartthrob Olly Murs.

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born


Author: Jamie Lee Curtis
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006024528X
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 40
View: 7790

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Tell me again about the night I was born . . Tell me again how you would adopt me and be my parents... Tell me again about the first time you held me in your arms . . In asking her mother and father to tell her again about the night of her birth, a young girl shows that it is a cherished tale she knows by heart. Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell come together once again to create a unique celebration of the love and joy a baby brings into the world. Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is a heartwarming story, not only of how one child is born but of how a family is born.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers


Author: Mary Roach
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN: 9780393069198
Category: Science
Page: 320
View: 9400

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"One of the funniest and most unusual books of the year....Gross, educational, and unexpectedly sidesplitting."—Entertainment Weekly Stiff is an oddly compelling, often hilarious exploration of the strange lives of our bodies postmortem. For two thousand years, cadavers—some willingly, some unwittingly—have been involved in science's boldest strides and weirdest undertakings. In this fascinating account, Mary Roach visits the good deeds of cadavers over the centuries and tells the engrossing story of our bodies when we are no longer with them.

Less (Winner of the Pulitzer Prize)

A Novel
Author: Andrew Sean Greer
Publisher: Lee Boudreaux Books
ISBN: 0316316148
Category: Fiction
Page: 272
View: 2775

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A struggling novelist travels the world to avoid an awkward wedding in this hilarious Pulitzer Prize-winning novel full of "arresting lyricism and beauty" (The New York Times Book Review). WINNER OF THE PULITZER PRIZE National Bestseller A New York Times Notable Book of 2017 A Washington Post Top Ten Book of 2017 A San Francisco Chronicle Top Ten Book of 2017 Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence, the Lambda Award, and the California Book Award Who says you can't run away from your problems? You are a failed novelist about to turn fifty. A wedding invitation arrives in the mail: your boyfriend of the past nine years is engaged to someone else. You can't say yes--it would be too awkward--and you can't say no--it would look like defeat. On your desk are a series of invitations to half-baked literary events around the world. QUESTION: How do you arrange to skip town? ANSWER: You accept them all. What would possibly go wrong? Arthur Less will almost fall in love in Paris, almost fall to his death in Berlin, barely escape to a Moroccan ski chalet from a Saharan sandstorm, accidentally book himself as the (only) writer-in-residence at a Christian Retreat Center in Southern India, and encounter, on a desert island in the Arabian Sea, the last person on Earth he wants to face. Somewhere in there: he will turn fifty. Through it all, there is his first love. And there is his last. Because, despite all these mishaps, missteps, misunderstandings and mistakes, Less is, above all, a love story. A scintillating satire of the American abroad, a rumination on time and the human heart, a bittersweet romance of chances lost, by an author The New York Times has hailed as "inspired, lyrical," "elegiac," "ingenious," as well as "too sappy by half," Less shows a writer at the peak of his talents raising the curtain on our shared human comedy. "I could not love LESS more."--Ron Charles, The Washington Post "Andrew Sean Greer's Less is excellent company. It's no less than bedazzling, bewitching and be-wonderful."--Christopher Buckley, The New York Times Book Review

Poor Widow Me

Moments of feeling & dealing & finding the funny along the way
Author: Carol Scibelli
Publisher: BookBaby
ISBN: 0983261016
Category: Family & Relationships
Page: 80
View: 2869

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Poor Widow Me: Moments of feeling & dealing & finding the funny along the way captures the essence of widowhood with a fresh, smart, often humorous, always searingly honest perspective in a collection of 84 bits about life after a husband dies that will bring a unique sense of grief relief to widows and their loved ones, emphasizing that when we lose our spouse we don't lose ourselves. Carol Scibelli is a comedy writer so she is wired to be funny, so there is plenty to chuckle about in the book. Humor is honest, laughing is healing. And, although these incidents are from her life, the core of her story is very much every widow's story. When Carol's husband realized he wasn't going to live, he said to her "This is going to be a life-changer for you. It will be an adventure." She often says to him in death what she rarely said to him in life, "You were right, honey."

A Christmas Story

The Book That Inspired the Hilarious Classic Film
Author: Jean Shepherd
Publisher: Broadway Books
ISBN: 0307768732
Category: Fiction
Page: 144
View: 4194

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A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.

Scarlett Says


Author: Scarlett Moffatt
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 0752266012
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: N.A
View: 1086

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Queen of the Sofa Queen of the Jungle Queen of the one-liner THE SUNDAY TIMES NUMBER 1 BESTSELLER "Scarlett Says is absolutely brilliant and really funny. Half autobiography, half mad woman on a roundabout shouting at the traffic." Alan Carr "My absolutely favourite Goggleboxer has a book out and it's brilliant." Richard Osman ‘A great chinwag with a friend in a cosy pub . . . bursting with hilarious one-liners, Scarlett’s down to earth nature is a breath of fresh air in the world of showbiz’ Daily Mirror We all love a bit of Scarlett. After years of making us crack up on Channel 4’s Gogglebox, in 2016 she won the nation over with her wit, and genuine, no-nonsense attitude to life, as she was crowned Queen of the Jungle on I’m a Celebrity Get me out of Here. In Scarlett Says, she takes us through all of life’s biggest issues, from Tinder to tooth fairies and everything in between. This is an honest, revealing and very funny guide to the modern world from everyone’s favourite girl-next-door.

Hey Ladies!

The Story of 8 Best Friends, 1 Year, and Way, Way Too Many Emails
Author: Michelle Markowitz,Caroline Moss
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 1683352378
Category: Fiction
Page: 272
View: 8842

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Based on the column of the same name that appeared in The Toast, Hey Ladies! is a laugh-out-loud read that follows a fictitious group of eight 20-and-30-something female friends for one year of holidays, summer house rentals, dates, brunches, breakups, and, of course, the planning of a disastrous wedding. This instantly relatable story is told entirely through emails, texts, DMs, and every other form of communication known to man. The women in the book are stand-ins for annoying friends that we all have. There’s Nicole, who’s always broke and tries to pay for things in Forever21 gift cards. There’s Katie, the self-important budding journalist, who thinks a retweet and a byline are the same thing. And there’s Jen, the DIY suburban bride-to-be. With a perfectly pitched sardonic tone, Hey Ladies! will have you cringing and laughing as you recognize your own friends, and even yourself.

Between the Lines


Author: Jodi Picoult,Samantha van Leer
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451635753
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 352
View: 2495

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Told in their separate voices, sixteen-year-old Prince Oliver, who wants to break free of his fairy-tale existence, and fifteen-year-old Delilah, a loner obsessed with Prince Oliver and the book in which he exists, work together to seek his freedom.

The Autobiography of Gucci Mane


Author: Gucci Mane,Neil Martinez-Belkin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501165321
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 304
View: 6325

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Rapper Gucci Mane takes us to his roots in Alabama, the streets of East Atlanta, the trap house, and the studio where he found his voice as a peerless rapper. He reflects on his inimitable career and in the process confronts his dark past -- the murder charge, years behind bars, addiction, career highs and lows -- the making of the Trap God. It is one of the greatest comeback stories in the history of music. -- Adapted from book jacket.