How to Archer

The Ultimate Guide to Espionage, Style, Women, and Cocktails Ever Written
Author: Sterling Archer
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062066323
Category: Fiction
Page: 192
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Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

How to Archer

The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written
Author: Sterling Archer
Publisher: It Books
ISBN: N.A
Category:
Page: 192
View: 9046

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Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer. From the Back Cover Hi. I see you’re reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either: A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, or B) don’t know how books work. If your answer was “A,” your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you’ll find the “contents” of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read “table” format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I’ll wait. . . . Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed). So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the world’s greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn’t a damn library. (Note: If your answer was “B,” this probably isn’t the book you want to start with.)

The Art of Archer


Author: Neal Holman
Publisher: Dey Street Books
ISBN: 9780062484130
Category: Performing Arts
Page: 240
View: 8566

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A fully illustrated and highly visual guide to everything Archer—from storyboards to character sketches to script excerpts—making it a collector’s item for Archer fans everywhere, and featuring a foreword by Christian Slater. The Art of Archer is a comprehensive look behind the scenes of the award-winning animated series. Featuring 240 pages of concept art, exclusive interviews, script excerpts and the never-before-released original pitch for the series, this amazing collection offers an utterly unique view of the Archer creative process. Commentary from the crew will walk fans all the way from squiggles to the gorgeous final picture, detailing not only their process but their history as well. Exclusive interviews with the Emmy-nominated cast offer insights to their beloved characters and a glimpse of their favorite moments. With storyboards, costume designs, reference photographs, immaculate background paintings and more, this is Archer as you have never seen it. The Art of Archer is a must have companion to the groundbreaking animated series, for fans and cinephiles alike.

A Practical Guide to Racism


Author: C. H. Dalton
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1592404308
Category: Humor
Page: 203
View: 3983

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A whimsical and irreverent evaluation of the world's diverse populations, written pseudonymously by the fictional son of an elitist family, argues in support of supremacist belief systems while diminishing the sufferings of minority groups. Reprint.

Bro on the Go


Author: Barney Stinson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471104648
Category: Humor
Page: 128
View: 2922

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THE BRO CODE provides men with all the rules they need to know in order to become a "bro" and behave properly among other bros. THE BRO CODE has never been published before. Few know of its existence, and the code, until now, has been verbally communicated between those in the 'bro'. Containing approximately 150 "unspoken" rules, this code of conduct ranges from the simple (bros before hos) to the complex (the hot-to-crazy ratio, complete with bar graphs and charts). With helpful sidebros THE BRO CODE will help any ordinary guy become the best bro he can be. Let ultimate bro and co-author Barney Stinson and his book, THE BRO CODE share their wisdom, lest you be caught making eye contact in a devil's three-way (two dudes, duh.) Sample Articles from THE BRO CODE: Article 1: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical. Article 53: A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with prophylactic protection.Article 57: A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

Bro Code for Parents

What to Expect When You're Awesome
Author: Barney Stinson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451690649
Category: Humor
Page: 176
View: 8176

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The newest book in the New York Times bestselling “Barney Stinson” canon teaches prospective parents everything they need to know to have a legendary kid. So you’re going to be a parent. You might be asking yourself a series of important questions: Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again? Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy. The Bro Code for Parents will help you: Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker • Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat” With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.

Let Me Off at the Top!

My Classy Life and Other Musings
Author: Ron Burgundy
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 080413958X
Category: Humor
Page: 224
View: 6067

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Ron Burgundy is known to all as the lead anchorman of San Diego's award-winning Action 4 News Team and anchor of the first 24-hour news channel, GNN (Global News Network), but few know the real man behind the news desk. In LET ME OFF AT THE TOP! My Classy Life and Other Musings he will share never-before-told stories of his childhood and the events that led him to choose a career in the news business. He will offer a rare glimpse behind the camera into the real life of a man many consider to be our greatest living news anchor. In his own words, he will share personal anecdotes about the women in his life, about his dog, Baxter, and his legendary news team. Along the way, he'll also give sage advice on a variety of topics that matter most to him. The long wait is over. Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in this widely anticipated, fully authorized tell-all autobiography.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today
Author: The Gang
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006222512X
Category: Humor
Page: 256
View: 2861

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"The Gang" from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia attempts their most ill-conceived, get-rich quick scheme yet: publishing a “self-help book” to hilarious, sometimes dangerous, and often revolting, results. The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book. In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can. Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

Like Brothers


Author: Mark Duplass,Jay Duplass
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 1101967722
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 320
View: 4642

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The multitalented writers, directors, producers, and actors (as seen on The League, Transparent, and The Mindy Project) share the secrets of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir. Whether producing, writing, directing, or acting, the Duplass Brothers have made their mark in the world of independent film and television on the strength of their quirky and empathetic approach to storytelling. Now, for the first time, Mark and Jay take readers on a tour of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir told in essays that share the secrets of their success, the joys and frustrations of intimate collaboration, and the lessons they’ve learned the hard way. From a childhood spent wielding an oversized home video camera in the suburbs of New Orleans to their shared years at the University of Texas in early-nineties Austin, and from the breakthrough short they made on a three-dollar budget to the night their feature film Baghead became the center of a Sundance bidding war, Mark and Jay tell the story of a bond that’s resilient, affectionate, mutually empowering, and only mildly dysfunctional. They are brutally honest about how their closeness sabotaged their youthful romantic relationships, about the jealousy each felt when the other stole the spotlight as an actor (Mark in The League, Jay in Transparent), and about the challenges they faced on the set of their HBO series Togetherness—namely, too much togetherness. But Like Brothers is also a surprisingly practical road map to a rewarding creative partnership. Rather than split all their responsibilities fifty-fifty, the brothers learned to capitalize on each other’s strengths. They’re not afraid to call each other out, because they’re also not afraid to compromise. Most relationships aren’t—and frankly shouldn’t be—as intense as Mark and Jay’s, but their brand of trust, validation, and healthy disagreement has taken them far. Part coming-of-age memoir, part underdog story, and part insider account of succeeding in Hollywood on their own terms, Like Brothers is as openhearted and lovably offbeat as Mark and Jay themselves. “Wright. Ringling. Jonas. I’m sure you could name a bunch of famous brother teams. They’re all garbage compared to Mark and Jay. I can’t wait for you to read this book.”—from the foreword by Mindy Kaling

How to Survive a Horror Movie

All the Skills to Dodge the Kills
Author: Seth Grahame-Smith
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 9781594741791
Category: Humor
Page: 175
View: 5021

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Teaches readers how to cope with every kind of horror movie obstacle, from ax-wielding psychopaths to haunted Japanese VHS tapes, and is full of illustrated instructions on avoiding ghosts, serial killers, haunted cars, murderous pets, telekinetic prom queens, and countless other hazards. Original.

Pawnee

The Greatest Town in America
Author: Leslie Knope
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 1401304419
Category: Fiction
Page: 240
View: 8116

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Welcome to Pawnee: More Exciting than New York, More Glamorous than Hollywood, Roughly the Same Size as Bismarck, North Dakota In Pawnee, Leslie Knope (as played by Amy Poehler on NBC's hit show Parks and Recreation) takes readers on a hilarious tour through her hometown, the Midwestern haven known as Pawnee, Indiana. The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history--like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America.

What to Expect When You're Expected

A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters
Author: David Javerbaum
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
ISBN: 1588369404
Category: Humor
Page: 224
View: 5490

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This new second edition is filled with the latest, most accurate wombhood information, including comforting answers to hundreds of questions, such as • “My mother just took a sip of white wine. Am I going to end up looking like some Chernobyl baby now?” • “So far Mommy is spending most of her pregnancy in a state of stress, anxiety, and depression. Which one should she focus on?” • “I’m kicking as hard as I can, but Mom says it feels like ‘butterflies fluttering.’ Am I doing something wrong?” • “Why do my parents blast Mozart at me every night right when I’m trying to sleep?!?” • “To the nearest hundred, how many people should Mommy invite to my birth?” From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Trouble with Women


Author: Jacky Fleming
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449480675
Category: Humor
Page: 128
View: 4258

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Ever noticed that women don't feature much in history books, and wondered why? Then this is the book for you. In The Trouble with Women, feminist artist Jacky Fleming illustrates how the opinions of supposed male geniuses, such as Charles Darwin (who believed that women have smaller brains than men) and John Ruskin (who believed that women's main function was to praise men), have shaped the fate of women through history, confining them to a life of domesticity and very little else. Get ready to laugh, wince, and rescue forgotten women from the "dustbin of history," while keeping a close eye out for tell-tale "genius hair."

Making Avonlea

L.M. Montgomery and Popular Culture
Author: Irene Gammel
Publisher: University of Toronto Press
ISBN: 9780802084330
Category: Literary Criticism
Page: 347
View: 1340

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Invoking theories of popular culture, film, literature, drama, and tourism, contributors probe the emotional attachment and loyalty of many generations of readers to L.M. Montgomery?s books.

The Meowmorphosis


Author: Franz Kafka,Coleridge Cook
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 159474503X
Category: Fiction
Page: 206
View: 5163

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Gregor Samsa, a seemingly typical man, wakes up one morning to discover he has been transformed into a cat.

Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less


Author: Jeffrey Archer
Publisher: St. Martin's Paperbacks
ISBN: 9781429954075
Category: Fiction
Page: 320
View: 5210

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The conned: an Oxford don, a revered society physician, a chic French art dealer, and a charming English lord. They have one thing in common. Overnight, each novice investor lost his life's fortune to one man. The con: Harvey Metcalfe. A brilliant, self-made guru of deceit. A very dangerous individual. And now, a hunted man. With nothing left to lose four strangers are about to come together-each expert in their own field. Their plan: find Harvey, shadow him, trap him, and penny-for-penny, destroy him. From the luxurious casinos of Monte Carlo to the high-stakes windows at Ascot to the bustling streets of Wall Street to fashionable London galleries, their own ingenious game has begun. It's called revenge-and they were taught by a master

It's Always Sunny and Philosophy


Author: Roger Hunt,Robert Arp
Publisher: Open Court
ISBN: 0812698967
Category: Philosophy
Page: 288
View: 501

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Philosophers wittily and expertly uncover amazing philosophical insights from the endlessly fascinating TV show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Littmann shows how the values of the gang are the same as those of Homeric heroes. Ketcham argues that the Church should make Charlie a saint, partly because It’s Always Sunny is “all about free will.” Hamer shows how closely the gang’s activities comply with the scientific method. Alkema and Barkman analyze the way the gang perceives happiness and how they try to get it. Leonard proves beyond doubt that the game of Chardee MacDennis reveals everyone's unconscious desires. King examines the morality of the gang’s behavior by the standard of how they respond to extreme suffering. Chambers agrees that each of the five central characters is a terrible person, but argues that, given their circumstances, they are not truly to blame for their actions. Tanswell demonstrates that many of the gang’s wrong actions result not from immoral motives but from illogical thinking. Aylesworth uses examples from It’s Always Sunny to bring out some of the moral problems with real consent to sex. Jones reveals that Nietzsche foresaw everything the gang at Paddy's Pub would do.

Let's Start A Riot

How A Young Drunk Punk became A Hollywood Dad
Author: Bruce McCulloch
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 1443426407
Category: Humor
Page: 304
View: 8927

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A biting, funny, always revealing collection of personal stories from the legendary Kid in the Hall, comedian, writer and director, Bruce McCulloch Comedian, writer, director and legendary Kid in the Hall Bruce McCulloch chronicles his journey from wild early days as a ‘young punk’ in 80’s Alberta, to his flannel plaid days and futon nights in 90's Toronto, to becoming a ‘pajama-clad dad’ living in the Hollywood Hills. From scowling teenager to father of two, this biting, funny collection of personal stories, peppered with moments of surprising poignancy, proves that although this infamous Kid may be all grown up, his singular brand of humor and signature wit remain firmly intact.

Lectures on the Infrared Structure of Gravity and Gauge Theory


Author: Andrew Strominger
Publisher: Princeton University Press
ISBN: 1400889855
Category: Science
Page: 200
View: 1416

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A short, graduate-level synthesis of recent developments in theoretical physics, from a pioneer in the fieldshort, graduate-level synthesis of recent developments in theoretical physics, from a pioneer in the field Lectures on the Infrared Structure of Gravity and Gauge Theory presents an accessible, graduate-level synthesis of a frontier research area in theoretical physics. Based on a popular Harvard University course taught by the author, this book gives a concise introduction to recent discoveries concerning the structure of gravity and gauge theory at very long distances. These discoveries unite three disparate but well-developed subjects in physics. The first subject is the soft theorems, which were found by particle physicists in the 1950s to control the behavior of low-energy photons and are essential for all collider predictions. The second subject is asymptotic symmetries, found by general relativists in the 1960s to provide a surprising, infinite number of exact relations between distinct physical phenomena. The third subject is the memory effect, the measurement of which is sought in upcoming gravitational wave observations. An exploration of the physical and mathematical equivalence of these three subjects has provided a powerful new perspective on old results and led to a plethora of new results, involving symmetries of QED, gluon scattering amplitudes, flat-space holography in quantum gravity, black hole information, and beyond. Uniquely connective and cutting-edge, Lectures on the Infrared Structure of Gravity and Gauge Theory takes students and scholars to the forefront of new developments in the discipline. Materials are presented in a "lecture notes" style with problem sets included Concise and accessible pedagogical approach Topics include soft theorems, the memory effect, asymptotic symmetries with applications to QED, Yang-Mills theory, quantum gravity, and black holes

How to Live with a Huge Penis

Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much
Author: Richard Jacob,Owen Thomas
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1594747741
Category: Humor
Page: 128
View: 1100

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Is Bigger Really Better? Here at last is the first self-help book for men with Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG), a genetic birth defect that grows the penis to absurd proportions. Every year, thousands of men are diagnosed with OMG. Sadly, most are banished to the fringes of society, victims of their own freakish length and girth. How to Live with a Huge Penis brings them an inspiring message of tolerance and hope—along with helpful information on • Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family • Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis • Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis • and much, much more Complete with prayers, poetry, a daily affirmations journal, and thoughtful quotations from leading self-help experts, How to Live with a Huge Penis will inspire men of all shapes and sizes.