Bossypants


Author: Tina Fey
Publisher: Reagan Arthur Books
ISBN: 9780316175869
Category: Humor
Page: 304
View: 429

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Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. (Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake!)

I'm Fine...And Other Lies


Author: Whitney Cummings
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0735212627
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 288
View: 749

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“Whitney Cummings has written a book about being, well, not fine—and what to do when you find yourself with brutal anxiety and a co-dependency disorder; all in her trademark wit, humor, and honesty. This book, however, is fine as hell.”—Sophia Amoruso, author of #Girlboss “The funniest cry for help you'll read this year.”—BJ Novak Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my book page....I presume if you’re reading this it means you either need more encouragement to buy it or we used to date and you’re trying to figure out if you should sue me or not. Here are all the stories and mistakes I’ve made that were way too embarrassing to tell on stage in front of an actual audience; but thanks to not-so-modern technology, you can read about them here so I don’t have to risk having your judgmental eye contact crush my self-esteem. This book contains some delicious schadenfreude in which I recall such humiliating debacles as breaking my shoulder while trying to impress a guy, coming very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison, and having my lacerated ear sewn back on by a deaf guy after losing it in a torrid love affair. In addition to hoarding mortifying situations that’ll make you feel way better about your choices, I’ve also accumulated a lot of knowledge from therapists, psychotherapists, and psychopaths, which can probably help you avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made. Think of this book as everything you’d want from the Internet all in one place, except without the constant distractions of ads, online shopping, and porn. I’m not sure what else to say to say, except that you should buy it if you want to laugh and learn how to stop being crazy. And if we used to date, see you in court.

Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me


Author: Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Publisher: Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
ISBN: 1455504653
Category: Humor
Page: 304
View: 2829

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"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Little Miss Bossy


Author: Roger Hargreaves
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101655186
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 32
View: 1031

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They're back! Rediscover the zaniest and most lovable characters you've ever met in the Mr. Men and Little Miss series—the best-selling, timeless, and universal books, which have sold millions of copies worldwide. Digitally available for the first time, these bright, charming books, with their easily recognizable characters, are easy enough for young readers and witty enough for adults. This fantastic read-to-me edition is read by Audie and Grammy award-winning narrator of Harry Potter, Jim Dale, who perfectly captures each character’s unique voice and personality. Get ready to fall in love with Mr. Men and Little Miss books all over again or for the very first time!

My Working Mom


Author: Peter Glassman
Publisher: Harper Trophy
ISBN: 9780064410335
Category: Juvenile Fiction
Page: 32
View: 2753

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Although she sometimes resents her mother's work as a witch, a young girl decides to keep her mother just the way she is, in a perfect-for-Halloween tale about the ups and downs of having a working parent. Reprint.

The Bassoon King

My Life in Art, Faith, and Idiocy
Author: Rainn Wilson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0451469437
Category: Bahais
Page: 320
View: 5755

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For nine seasons Rainn Wilson played Dwight Schrute in the The Office. Viewers fell in love with the character and grew to love the actor who played him even more. In The Bassoon King, he tells his own story and explains how he came up with his incredibly unique sense of humor and perspective on life. The book chronicles his journey from super-nerddom to drama, his years of mild debauchery and struggles as a young actor in New York, his many adventures, and insights about The Office which fans of both Wilson and the show will love.

A Covert Affair

Julia Child and Paul Child in the OSS
Author: Jennet Conant
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781439168509
Category: History
Page: 416
View: 6314

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Bestselling author Jennet Conant brings us a stunning account of Julia and Paul Child’s experiences as members of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) in the Far East during World War II and the tumultuous years when they were caught up in the McCarthy Red spy hunt in the 1950s and behaved with bravery and honor. It is the fascinating portrait of a group of idealistic men and women who were recruited by the citizen spy service, slapped into uniform, and dispatched to wage political warfare in remote outposts in Ceylon, India, and China. The eager, inexperienced 6 foot 2 inch Julia springs to life in these pages, a gangly golf-playing California girl who had never been farther abroad than Tijuana. Single and thirty years old when she joined the staff of Colonel William Donovan, Julia volunteered to be part of the OSS’s ambitious mission to develop a secret intelligence network across Southeast Asia. Her first post took her to the mountaintop idyll of Kandy, the headquarters of Admiral Lord Louis Mountbatten, the supreme commander of combined operations. Julia reveled in the glamour and intrigue of her overseas assignment and lifealtering romance with the much older and more sophisticated Paul Child, who took her on trips into the jungle, introduced her to the joys of curry, and insisted on educating both her mind and palate. A painter drafted to build war rooms, Paul was a colorful, complex personality. Conant uses extracts from his letters in which his sharp eye and droll wit capture the day-to-day confusion, excitement, and improbability of being part of a cloak- and-dagger operation. When Julia and Paul were transferred to Kunming, a rugged outpost at the foot of the Burma Road, they witnessed the chaotic end of the war in China and the beginnings of the Communist revolution that would shake the world. A Covert Affair chronicles their friendship with a brilliant and eccentric array of OSS agents, including Jane Foster, a wealthy, free-spirited artist, and Elizabeth MacDonald, an adventurous young reporter. In Paris after the war, Julia and Paul remained close to their intelligence colleagues as they struggled to start new lives, only to find themselves drawn into a far more terrifying spy drama. Relying on recently unclassified OSS and FBI documents, as well as previously unpublished letters and diaries, Conant vividly depicts a dangerous time in American history, when those who served their country suddenly found themselves called to account for their unpopular opinions and personal relationships.

The Things a Brother Knows


Author: Dana Reinhardt
Publisher: Wendy Lamb Books
ISBN: 0375897623
Category: Young Adult Fiction
Page: 256
View: 3815

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The story of a young marine’s return from war in the Middle East and the psychological effects it has on his family. Finally, Levi Katznelson’s older brother, Boaz, has returned. Boaz was a high school star who had it all and gave it up to serve in a war Levi can’t understand. Things have been on hold since Boaz left. With the help of his two best friends Levi has fumbled his way through high school, weary of his role as little brother to the hero. But when Boaz walks through the front door after his tour of duty is over, Levi knows there’s something wrong. Boaz is home, safe. But Levi knows that his brother is not the same. Maybe things will never return to normal. Then Boaz leaves again, and this time Levi follows him, determined to understand who his brother was, who he has become, and how to bring him home again. Award-winning author Dana Reinhardt introduces readers to Levi, who has never known what he believes, and whose journey reveals truths only a brother knows. From the Hardcover edition.

Girl Walks Into a Bar--

Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
Author: Rachel Dratch
Publisher: Avery
ISBN: 1592407579
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 248
View: 8730

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The former Saturday Night Live comedienne recounts her midlife career slump, long-distance relationship, and unplanned motherhood, which culminated in uproarious childcare activities and the bewilderment of friends and family members.

Is It Just Me?

Or Is It Nuts out There?
Author: Whoopi Goldberg
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 1401396194
Category: Humor
Page: 192
View: 9158

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Have you noticed people aren't as polite as they once were or that rudeness is no longer an exception but a lifestyle? Sure you have. All you need to do is set foot outside your door to see that bad manners are taking over everywhere. Just look and you'll see: People yak on cell phones in restaurants, and even at church. Folks in carpools wear enough cologne to make your eyes bleed. Family outings to the ballpark are ruined by rowdy drunks. People talk in movie theaters like they are in their living rooms. Well, Whoopi Goldberg has noticed all this and more and asked herself, "Is it just me?" Unleashing her trademark irreverence and humor, her book of observations takes a funny and excruciatingly honest look at how a loss of civility is messing with the quality of life for all of us.

Buddha Doodles: Imagine the Possibilities


Author: Molly Hahn
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449474624
Category: Body, Mind & Spirit
Page: 96
View: 5696

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With simple, whimsical drawings and simple, profound truths, Buddha Doodles celebrates the amazing possibilities of the divine light within us all. These inspiring messages, little doodles, and feel-good sayings can help you get in-tune while you meditate or inspire you toward mindfulness.

The Sixes

A Novel
Author: Kate White
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092537
Category: Fiction
Page: 384
View: 4513

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KateWhite rises to the pinnacle of modern suspense with The Sixes, apage-turning stand-alone thriller from the New York Times bestsellingauthor of Hush, and the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitanmagazine. With taught prose evocative of Laura Lippman’sLife Sentences and Dennis Lehane’s MoonlightMile, White paints the sinister picture of a quiet Pennsylvaniacollege town left shaken after a mysterious death precipitates a cascade ofevil events on campus. When new teacher Phoebe Hall undertakes the dangerousquest of uncovering the truth behind the ghastly recent happenings, herinvestigation will send her into the clutches of a deadly secret society—theSixes—and unearth the dark relics of her own long-buried past.

Just the Funny Parts

… And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking into the Hollywood Boys’ Club
Author: Nell Scovell
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062473506
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 336
View: 8239

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FOREWORD BY SHERYL SANDBERG You’ve almost certainly laughed at Scovell’s jokes—you just didn’t know it until now. Just the Funny Parts is a juicy and scathingly funny insider look at how pop culture gets made. For more than thirty years, writer, producer and director Nell Scovell worked behind the scenes of iconic TV shows, including The Simpsons, Late Night with David Letterman, Murphy Brown, NCIS, The Muppets, and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, which she created and executive produced. In 2009, Scovell gave up her behind-the-scenes status when the David Letterman sex scandal broke. Only the second woman ever to write for his show, Scovell used the moment to publicly call out the lack of gender diversity in late-night TV writers’ rooms. “One of the boys” came out hard for “all of the girls.” Her criticisms fueled a cultural debate. Two years later, Scovell was collaborating with Sheryl Sandberg on speeches and later on Lean In, which resulted in a worldwide movement. Now Scovell is opening up with this fun, honest, and often shocking account. Scovell knows what it’s like to put words in the mouths of President Barack Obama, Mark Harmon, Candice Bergen, Bob Newhart, Conan O’Brien, Alyssa Milano, and Kermit the Frog, among many others. Through her eyes, you’ll sit in the Simpson writers’ room… stand on the Oscar red carpet… pin a tail on Miss Piggy…bond with Star Trek’s Leonard Nimoy… and experience a Stephen King-like encounter with Stephen King. Just the Funny Parts is a fast-paced account of a nerdy girl from New England who fought her way to the top of the highly-competitive, male-dominated entertainment field. The book delivers invaluable insights into the creative process and tricks for navigating a difficult workplace. It's part memoir, part how-to, and part survival story. Or, as Scovell puts it, “It’s like Unbroken, but funnier and with slightly less torture.”

The Chilbury Ladies' Choir

A Novel
Author: Jennifer Ryan
Publisher: Broadway Books
ISBN: 1101906766
Category: Fiction
Page: 416
View: 4148

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER “A delightful debut.”—People For readers of Lilac Girls and The Nightingale, The Chilbury Ladies' Choir unfolds the struggles, affairs, deceptions, and triumphs of a village choir during World War II. As England becomes enmeshed in the early days of World War II and the men are away fighting, the women of Chilbury village forge an uncommon bond. They defy the Vicar’s stuffy edict to close the choir and instead “carry on singing,” resurrecting themselves as the Chilbury Ladies’ Choir. We come to know the home-front struggles of five unforgettable choir members: a timid widow devastated when her only son goes to fight; the older daughter of a local scion drawn to a mysterious artist; her younger sister pining over an impossible crush; a Jewish refugee from Czechoslovakia hiding a family secret; and a conniving midwife plotting to outrun her seedy past. An enchanting ensemble story that shuttles from village intrigue to romance to the heartbreaking matters of life and death, Jennifer Ryan’s debut novel thrillingly illuminates the true strength of the women on the home front in a village of indomitable spirit.

Be Awesome: Modern Life for Modern Ladies


Author: Hadley Freeman
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 0007485719
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 286
View: 8695

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Hadley Freeman, Guardian features writer and author of the popular ‘Ask Hadley...’ column, reminds the modern lady to ‘Be Awesome’.

The Body Reader


Author: Anne Frasier
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer
ISBN: 9781503935204
Category: Fiction
Page: 336
View: 3392

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For three years, Detective Jude Fontaine was kept from the outside world. Held in an underground cell, her only contact was with her sadistic captor, and reading his face was her entire existence. Learning his every line, every movement, and every flicker of thought is what kept her alive. After her experience with isolation and torture, she is left with a fierce desire for justice--and a heightened ability to interpret the body language of both the living and the dead. Despite colleagues' doubts about her mental state, she resumes her role at Homicide. Her new partner, Detective Uriah Ashby, doesn't trust her sanity, and he has a story of his own he'd rather keep hidden. But a killer is on the loose, murdering young women, so the detectives have no choice: they must work together to catch the madman before he strikes again. And no one knows madmen like Jude Fontaine.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang


Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446563536
Category: Humor
Page: 256
View: 5873

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WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

Born Standing Up

A Comic's Life
Author: Steve Martin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1847395848
Category: Biography & Autobiography
Page: 224
View: 4783

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Steve Martin has been an international star for over thirty years. Here, for the first time, he looks back to the beginning of his career and charmingly evokes the young man he once was. Born in Texas but raised in California, Steve was seduced early by the comedy shows that played on the radio when the family travelled back and forth to visit relatives. When Disneyland opened just a couple of miles away from home, an enchanted Steve was given his first chance to learn magic and entertain an audience. He describes how he noted the reaction to each joke in a ledger - 'big laugh' or 'quiet' - and assiduously studied the acts of colleagues, stealing jokes when needed. With superb detail, Steve recreates the world of small, dark clubs and the fear and exhilaration of standing in the spotlight. While a philosophy student at UCLA, he worked hard at local clubs honing his comedy and slowly attracting a following until he was picked up to write for TV. From here on, Steve Martin became an acclaimed comedian, packing out venues nationwide. One night, however, he noticed empty seats and realised he had 'reached the top of the rollercoaster'. BORN STANDING UP is a funny and riveting chronicle of how Steve Martin became the comedy genius we now know and is also a fascinating portrait of an era.